I wish I'd known about Berlin's Metrofarm GMBH before the holidays. Certainly many of their innovative and intriguing products would have gone on my Christmas list. The company is rapidly approaching their 10th. anniversary, having been founded in 2001 by Julia Böttcher and Jan ‘Nunu’ Müller, whose "versatile and fully integrated skill-set" enables product development, design, and manufacture, "from the pre-conceptual stage to finished products & installation." Given this, my first query is exactly how many Bavarian Christmas Elves might it take to build, transport, and install the prodigious and impressive Enclosed Walnut Veneer Bed?

Bed (Enclosed).

The Cozy and Classic Confines of an Over-Sized Bed Frame

Given Bed's impressive geometry (80 x 265 x 200 cm, or 31 x 79 x 104 inches), I'd conjecture it may take as long as a year, so it might behoove inhabitants of the Western United States to put their orders in now-that is, if they're planning on snoozing away Christmas morn 2011 within Bed's protective embrace. This is an appealing prospect for yours truly, as it would not only imply the aesthetic enjoyment of Bed's seamless craftsmanship and sleek modern look, but also the functional boon of enhanced privacy.

In my case, the over-riding benefit of the latter would be some degree of immunity from the entreaties of early-rising dogs, since Bed would prevent their vocalizations from reaching my yet slumbering ears, not to mention prohibit the forced entry often achieved by our wily chocolate lab. For parents, however, the advantages would be even greater. In fact, the big beautiful building blocks of Bed might provide them with insurmountable insulation from their gift-ravenous hordes-letting them pretend the world outside of Bed doesn't even exist, at least until 10 am.