Who among us hasn’t experienced the all-too-common design-related syndrome known as “Easy Assembly Meltdown”? This occurs in homes across America-most frequently on otherwise innocuous Saturday afternoons-when homeowners bravely sally forth in an intrepid quest to put together a newly arrived desk, or sideboard, or (heavens, no!) bed frame.

Modular Bed. Designed by Christoffer Martens. Manufactured by Stylepark.

You know the scenario: packaging materials litter the previously pristine home landscape; poorly-chosen and inadequate tools proliferate underfoot; fingers get pinched, knees sustain rug-burns; optimism devolves into frustration; frustration descends into anguish; dogs and cats rain from the skies; and finally the hapless homewoner is left with no recourse other than to loose a blood-curdling howl of existential hurt and hurl pincers or pliers or ratchet through window or wall. Then, along came Ikea, satisfying the whims of many…

But then, along came Christoffer Martens, satisfying the whims of those who prefer some panache in their decor. Designer Martens, “one of the protagonists of the ‘New German Design’ school,” is dedicated to creating furniture characterized by simplicity and innovation-this means sleek forms and high-functionality. Nils Holger Moormann-the manufacturer of Martens’ signature piece, the “Siebenschläfer” modular bed-is on the same page as Marten, philosophically speaking, since he claims that many of his products feature “innovative characteristics, precise detailed solutions and simple form.” Martens’ “Siebenschläfer” modular bed (2007) indeed features these and more, as it addresses limitations of space, transport, and owner incompetence. Consisting of four interlocking lengths of structurally rigid birch plywood, the frame contains no metal, and thus requires no tools (see above) and virtually no assembly. The four pieces fit together seamlessly (even a caveman could do it!) and form a nifty looking joint to boot. Assembled, the bed measures 79″ long, and it’s available in five widths-35″ up to 79″ (wider models include a flexible bed base for support; made of untreated ash and fabric, it rolls up like a window shade for easy transport). With characteristic German minimalist flair, Siebenschläfer makes great use of space w/o breaking the bank. Let’s hope its reknown crosses the Atlantic, so we can all reclaim our Saturdays.

See the specs at Nils Holger Moorman.